06.04.2010 10.05pm
You know what?
I don't wanna take it all by myself anymore.
I won't swollen it all by myself.
I don't scold doesn't mean i'm not angry.
I tell you i forgive but i hate.
Everytime i tell myself to forgive and forget as i take it all as small matter, just a little problem.
I still can take it, still can handle it.
But with all this kinda positive thinking and a strong me.
I end up making myself getting mad, in pain, crazy and emotional.
I never felt this way before.
I'm so in pain.
Everything stuck in my heart and it seems like gonnna burst at anytime.
I don't trust someone easily after something happened years ago.
So don't ask me why and what happened.
I'll just tell you i'm fine.
And i will be fine.
I just can't take this anymore.
Please don't ever make me cry again.
I hate to cry alone.
I want my life to be colourful.
And those who get hurts because of me, i'm sorry.
I can tell you that i felt more hurt and pain than you are as i've got the same feeling before.
I felt so sorry everytime i tell anyone no, don't, i don't want and all those reject words.
I myself was in pain when i'm telling all this.
I felt so pityful for them.
This cuts me too.
I really don't know how am i gonna stand till the last ending.