I'm so damn freaking hate it.
I hate it this way.
The first one is,
Why are you putting your temper on me?
I don't know what have i done wrong.
I tried to be good to you all the time.
All i've done is for your own good.
But you're always letting out your bad temper.
And i really don't know what's happening sometimes.
What am i to you?
Why are you doing this to me?
The second one,
I hate this more.
I've got no idea about it anymore.
This gone deeper and deeper.
Everything's changed.
Its a fake relation between us i think.
This is so not real.
I wouldn't know what will happen next.
And i don't know how i'm gonna face it.

Who can i tell all this to?
No one.
I could only tell my heart.
This is so suffering for me.

The third one,
I wasn't happy and enjoyable, lively and cheerful like last time.
Idk why i'm this way.
I hate this so much.
Everything seems so wrong.
And i couldn't fix it.
I don't know how to.
But just let it be.
I watched all this happening.
My heart aches so badly.
I felt so bad for myself.
I couldn't sleep well every night.
And sometimes even having serious insomnia.
Everything i've done was all useless.
It meant nothing to all of em'.
They couldn't understand it at all.
My heart seems like being pressed so hardly.
I could barely breathe when i think of all this.
And i don't even know why.
Tell me why.
I tried to be so strong in front of everyone and even my family now.
I pretend to be so tough nowadays.
I started to keep everything in myself.
Not telling it out to anyone.
Not even someone.
What to do?
NOTHING.

We shall go on with our own life.
Let it go.
Just let it go.
I've been so in pain.
I don't know what to do.
I can't take all this anymore.
I can't hold myself any longer.
This is a timer boom which will explode at anytime.
Many things had happened.
Teardrops in the midnight.
And i don't even know what's the reason.
I've been in this tough situation.
I felt so freaking sorry, so guilty for it.
I wouldn't want anyone get hurt nor unhappy.
But no one could ever understand what i've done.
No one could feel what will i feel for it.
They will blame me on it.
And even you.
Why would i be the one who worried for it?
Why would i care for their feelings?
Why would i feel sad for them?
But its okay.
I will take it for once and the very last time.

*Forget about me.

Sometimes you'll never know.
Secrets might kill.
If we have choices to choose, i prefer that i wouldn't know about it.
Idk whether its real or not.
I don't feel good about this.
I hope you all won't lie to me.
This might hurts me lots.
I might be or might not be important to you.
Or maybe you don't even wanna put me in your mind.
But its okay.
And if this is okay.
Fine then.
Just forget about me.
Or if i'm still a friend of yours,
And you still remember that you have a friend like me,
Don't do this to me.
Don't, just don't.

30.04.2011 @ 01.04.2011
This two days is the best moment for me and my besties.
Me and a friend accom the other two friend of us to work.
LOL.
This is kinda ridiculous.
We accom them to work till the end of the day.
What a great friend! are we? ahahaaa.
We took lotsa pictures, played and have fun.
The crazie four. heart em' the most!



2.05.2011
It was a holiday!
Few weeks ago, my uncle promised to cook a meal for my good grades.
I thought he wouldn't remember his promise but he did!
I'm glad and surprisingly happy to hear this.
Eheeee. :D
We went to his house in the morning then have lunch together.
The radio was playing while he's cooking.
He cooked my favourite dish and it was real delicious.
We sat together. talked, chatted, laughed...
The house was filled with joy and laughter.
My uncle is a humorous guy.
I like to play with him lotsss. he's cute!
He told me this: i purposely prepare this meal for you!
Awww~ AHAHAHAAAAA.
Thankyou so much my lovely uncle!



05.05.2011
After a long period of sleeping at real late at night.
Then woke up early in the morning..sometimes.
And finally, i'm sick.
I had never felt this way before.
My backbone is freaking pain as i rush my assignments in a day for sitting at the table for the whole day.
Plus havin slightly fever, flu, cough and headache that time.
OHGOSH!
But i'm real strong.
I recovered in just one day plusplus.lol.
*Thanks for all those caring friends. :)

Woke up early at about 7.45am this morning.
*Yawnnnnnnn.its raining and i don't feel like going to school.
Urrggghhh.
Many students were late today.
A student give his friend a call and said: what's the time now? quickly 'roll over' to the school now.LOL.we all just laugh out loud.
Teacher pointed at em' and said: punish you to stand for the whole day!
Ohlalala~
FUN ONE.
A student of my class was teaching our teacher those 'hokkien' or smtg.
And in the end the teacher learned something which was speaking hokkien like scolding people using bad words.
AHAHAAAAA.
The whole class was filled with fun and laughters.
They're all so friendly at my college.
Girls and clerks are all having charming smiling face.
Like there's a guy in my class offered my friend for a ride to home as he saw she took the bus home last time.
Awwwwwwwww~
Those guys students there were playing, fighting and fooling around.
A guy even bring the rubbish bin up to beat up his friend.
And i was just sitting beside and watching em'.
LOL. :D
They're just so cute.
How i wish i were a boy.
So that i don't have to care of my image and appearance and play with em' or even give em' a kick, laugh out loud and etc.
BLAHHHHHHH!

Sometimes being kind just wouldn't help.
It will make things go worst.
I don't know if there's any misunderstandings you had for me.
I don't wanna use any harsh words on you.
So don't force me anymore.
You will never want it that way.
And me either.
As this will be the very last time i'm telling this.
Don't waste any time of yours on it.
We will just be friends.
For now and for always.
Full Stop.

désolé, je regrette

Yea, it comes to and end finally.
I don't wanna lose a great friend like you.
But i'm gonna set you free.
Its a No.
I know i'm not for you.
Maybe we're just not right for each other.
Many reasons comes to a choice like this.
We're just too different.
For you, its just a two person matter.
But to me, its everything.
I can't give you a yes if the world is giving me a no.
I so wanna thanks for everything you've done.
From the first day till now.
But still we're friends aren't we?
I know you might forget me real soon.
Or disappear maybe?
I'm not gonna request anything from you.
I knew that you've done a lot.
I want you to be happy.
I don't wanna hear a single sigh from you.
Just this.